Catalog Sales, Customers For Sale & A Long Rant

Let's jump right in because my last post got too long to include the tips I'm giving you today.

Grab a copy of this month's issue of Multichannel Merchant If you are at all interested in doing catalog retailing, you can read about new catalog companies where sales in some areas are booming. For an industry overview, the National Mail Order Association is a good place to start or at least take a peek to see what it's all about. With the holidays right around the corner, you may want to survey your current customers because the trends for off-line catalog shoppers is on the rise.

It doesn't mean online shops are going to close, but if you're operating an online store it may be a good time to send a simple postcard or take a poll from your current customers to find out if they'd like to see a 'hold-in-your-hands' version for your holiday special. Be certain however that the costs justify the sales, no need in going crazy.

Speaking of catalog retailing, Business Know-How has a full section on direct mail selling that might interest you. There's a great Tips List from the Queen of Mail Order, Lillian Vernon. Lillian Vernon is a leader in the direct and internet marketing of gifts and housewares and was started on Lillian's kitchen table in 1951. How would you like to run a $287 million direct mail catalog business? It can be done! And just think about it this way, your customers will be much easier to find than they were in 1951!

What you will want to take away is this, Be different.
If all you're going to do is copy Joe Shmoe, then go find a job and happy trails to you. Being a solo entrepreneur is about thinking for yourself and taking action, not group-mind think.

Group think is like Group Sex, sounds good in theory but......ok, you get my point. Independent thought is what being a solo entrepreneur is all about - following the herd is being an employee.

Selling Your Customers To Your Competition! Long Post & Rant is FREE!
I've been seething over this and finally decided to share something that I hope isn't happening with your business - lack of good customer service.

Last week, I took my 75 year old mother to Bank of America because her finances are becoming more complicated for her to manage alone. What should have been an easy task turned into a major pisser of a pot-boiler for me.

Think they want customers to not come to the bank? My mother has an arthritic hip but the bank's customers seats are just right for a 50 pound 4-year old. We sat for well over 20 minutes while the 'staff' completely ignored us. Was the bank crowded at 10am on a Thursday morning? Except for the echo of paper-shuffling, the silence and lack of customers was deafening.

The three 'floor walkers' of course were the most obvious species because they were so animated, kind of like those Bobble-Head dolls.

One was having a 'hey baby' conversation in the center of the floor to someone bearing a striking resemblance to Ned the Wine-O, making us privy to the conversation at 30 decibels five seats away. Ms. Cell-Phone was yucking it up in her cubicle and turned her back to the lobby so she wouldn't be disturbed. The final loser, Ms. Pig-In-A-Blanket/PIAB looked directly at us and then turned to stare at her keyboard, didn't type anything - just stared at it.

Eventually, Ms. Cell-Phone came over to ask 'Do you need some help?! **This would be a good time to send the children elsewhere or leave because this is going to get worse. There is a lesson on customer service in it.**

My initial response was to tell her "Don't be stupid! We came in here because we had nothing better to do today except sit here listening to 30 decibel come-ons and watch Ms. Pig-In-A-Blanket/PIAB sit on her lard ass staring at her keyboard - but thanks for asking!", out of respect for my mother I didn't. Things went downhill from there.

Political correctness is going right out the window here. Ms. Pig-In-A-Blanket/PIAB is a tub-of-lard fat ass hauling 250 pounds of blubber on her entire body who came to work dressed in clothes 3 sizes too small. What ever happened to professional dress at work !

Ms. PIAB waddles and rolls like a ship in stormy seas over to tell my mother to come to her desk and she'll see IF she can can help her. Of course my thought was - "If you can't do anything banking related, what the hell are you doing here?!"

That should have been my signal to get out of there but I'm flexible and even an asshole deserves one chance. To make a long and sickening story about what not to do shorter, here's the conversation in total:

Ms. PIAB- What can I do for you today?

My mother - I want to add my daughter's name to my account.

Ms. PIAB- Who is the primary person on the account? **No, I didn't reach across the desk and choke her!"

My mother - I am, my name is Mrs.--------- --------

Ms. PIAB- What's the name on the account? **I'm getting closer to slapping this dumb-ass!

My mother - Mrs. ------ -------

Ms. PIAB- Ok. Then I need your ID and bank card (using my mother's first name only). **Excuse you? Here is where I jump in!**

GS: That's Mrs. mother's last name!

Ms. PIAB- Oh. Mrs. (mother's first name) **At 70+, my mother has earned the right to be called what she prefers. Where do they find these brain dead morons!**

Then I learned why she was starring at the keyboard, from the glazed look in her eyes and the slow-as-wet-paint typing - she had to be high and I'm not talking about on life!

After another 10 minutes, she asked for my ID. Gave her my US passport (I'm a born citizen with the NY attitude to go with it). Then she needed to have my credit card - this loser specifically said a credit card is a piece of ID!

The passport was a problem because she didn't know what my birth date was (it's on the passport you brain-dead crack-head!). Then my credit card became an issue. All my credit cards have added identity security just in case someone steals them - (I simply looooove my bank!).

Here's what Ms. PIAB tells me - Your passport won't do. I need something that has the same name that's on your credit card to add you to this account. NOBODY IS GOING TO LET YOU USE THAT PASSPORT WITHOUT THE SAME NAME AS YOUR CREDIT CARD! Homeland Security My Ass! Let me put you out your misery!!!!

Needless to say, I wiped out at least 3 months of Good Karma points - I wasn't arrested, so that's a good thing.

Georjina, What does this have to do with me and customer service?!
Everything! It's about training anyone representing your business to your customers. Who do you think gets their jollies when your customer service person is rude, insulting at best and totally incompetent at worst - yes, your competitors.

Here's a tip, make certain anyone who even comes close to any of your customers is not permanently Stuck-on-Stupid and has the ability to hold at minimum a basic, literate adult conversation (if you are a hip-hop related company, forget that last part).

Hopefully your customers consist of more than trailer park rejects and are not restricted to English speakers only. Train your people to ask intelligent questions or at the very least have a resource to turn to if they have questions. Don't allow laziness, rudeness or stupid people become part of your business and worse case, insult your customers - it will cost you more than you think.

Bank of America has never been a bank I'd recommend due to their employees serious lack of customer service skills and serious diversity issues when it comes to their contemptible treatment of minorities and non-US citizens.

Here's where my sponsors will probably jump ship UN-POLITICALLY CORRECT TIME - Consumer Manifesto:***
To any and all companies, financial institutions and agencies that think we, as customers, HAVE to give you our money, allow you to treat us like shit and pay for the privilege - Screw You! You Are Expendable!

Sue me! I pay rent to the family of Jack Shit. This is my opinion and I'm sticking with it.

For you solo entrepreneurs, your customers are the reason you get to live the lifestyle you choose and the life-blood of your business - without a customer you don't have a business. More importantly, if you treat your customers as if they are a bother - your competitors will be happy to take them off your hands.

As solo entrepreneurs, we're in the uncomfortable position of seeing the results of our Inner Idiot up-close when we least expect it.

If your own customer service skills could be better contact these folks out of Seattle Media Partners , and have them help you see beyond the short-term effects of your actions. Even if you are the only customer service employee in your solo business, take a few minutes to read a few of the articles on the site.

If training isn't one of your strengths either, have no fear. American Management Association offers good and affordable help that can get just about anyone you might hire up to speed. I've dealt with AMA, and unless they've changed drastically in the past 2 years, they know their stuff.

These are just the tip of the iceberg as far as customer service training goes, online there are hundreds (maybe I should send this post to the Board Chairman at Bank of America!). Find one that meets your needs and if you are still doing your own customer contact, good for you! But make certain your 'Inner Idiot' isn't the person running the show.

That's it for today and I leave you with this two-fer

If you make customers unhappy in the physical world, they might each tell 6 friends. If you make customers unhappy on the Internet, they can each tell 6,000 friends. - Jeff Bezos

The longer you wait, the harder it is to produce outstanding customer service. - William H. Davidow

Tiny URL links:
Multichannel Merchant
Business Know How
Bank of America
Sound Community Bank
Media Partners
American Management Assn
Who Is Jack Shit

Small Business Resources & Mail Order Catalogs Are IN!

Hello wherever you are and glad you made it here. I've taken some time off to rethink being a solo, why I wanted to do this and where I want to go from here. Think we all need to evaluate where we are and what we're doing from time to time. I'm doing what I love, research, writing and sharing what I find with you here.

Yes, I also like working on the affiliate business sites, reading weird books and generally being a pain in the ass to 'Know-It-All' people with just enough education to have the common sense of a dead rat. But hey, that's me--------------

Couple of very good sources for you that I hope you can use. Nothing for sale, yet. If you haven't purchased anything by now - you're probably reading for the resources! Works for me.

Let's get to it...........
1. Small Business School
I didn't know this was shown on PBS until I started digging into the site. It's now funded by the NYT, which helps make this site ongoing with great information. You can watch and listen to insights of people who have achieved against great odds, and I mean some of the odds against quite a few would have probably made me quit! Even in the face of failure, they were determined to succeed - I like that kind of spirit. The ones on the site come from over 300 episodes and if you have ever felt that it's too hard and doubting yourself, take a minute today to watch at least one short episode. It may change your life, certainly your business.

2. OSHA
Some of you are operating small garages, day care centers, adult care, auto detailing and other types of ventures with fewer than 10 employees. Yes, I still consider you a solo entrepreneur because if stuff hits the fan - your face is the only one everyone will look to for answers.

OSHA has really strict reporting guidelines for most small businesses and if you have employees it's best you find out if you are in compliance because one slip, even if you didn't know about it, can shut you down for good. Why I'm recommending you take a look is because they also offer third-party training for entrepreneurs. Get help in developing programs that establish safety and health programs that make a better fit for your small venture.

3. Anti Phishing
Ok, the lunatics are running the asylum again and this is a wrinkle that has tech support at quite a few hosting companies up all night and yes, it can affect your business. Here's why:
These schemes use 'spoofed' e-mails to lead consumers to counterfeit websites designed to trick them into giving out financial data such as credit card numbers, account user names, passwords and social security numbers. If you sell online, this is your early warning system.

The danger with these sites is the way they operate. Either they frame your website inside their sites or make their website design exactly like your own. Your customers may not notice the difference, which means when they order - instead of ordering from Sweet Granny dot com, they are entering information in Street Cranny dot com.

I make light of the names, but it's a reality banks, credit unions and one large retailer have been hit with. The holidays coming, you need to know how to protect your business and customers as much as possible. Most of the solutions aren't expensive to put in place, you may know enough to do them yourself. But do something you will, now or later.

When, not if, your customers or subscribers tell you they got a weird email from you that you know you didn't send, there are places online you can refer them for help. The best attack is to forward the email to Report Phishing with bcc: to the Federal Trade Commission at FTC. Let your subscribers and customers know to always include the entire original email with its original header information intact, that way it can be traced back to the original sender.

If you as the merchant find that your site has been compromised this way, don't just hope it goes away. Get pissed off, then notify The Internet Crime Complaint Center of the FBI by filing a complaint on their website, ICCC-FBI and do it as soon as you learn about it - don't wait to see how bad the damage is. That's a very deep rabbit hole, avoid it if you can.

That's it for today and I leave you with this

"Reality leaves a lot to the imagination." ~ John Lennon

Common Sense Online & Operating Blind

I've been looking around different forums, social networking sites and using Stumble Upon quite a bit and what I'm seeing is a bit disturbing.

Have you put your personal photo on your website or on any networking site lately? How about your business street address or contact information? You may have contributed to the latest online tactic that is proving to be a bit dangerous - complete strangers tracking down where you really live and wanting to get personal with you.

Identity theft is the least of it, especially for bloggers. In attempting to be more real to their readers, 2 well known bloggers have become targets of Up close & personal where you live cyber-stalkers. Both have shut down their sites and one has decided the openness of the Wild-Wild-Web isn't worth the danger his family has been put through since posting his real name and photo on his blog.

This is just a caution people. Your family and friends may think you're the best thing since indoor plumbing, but when it comes to being online - you don't know anyone from Adam Housecat, not even me. Be safe, use common sense on social bookmarking sites and remember that whatever you put online - stays online for a very, very long time.

Let's get to an article I found from Michael Masterson from Early to Rise. When it comes to our businesses, solo entrepreneurs are prone to operating blind in some cases - it's our baby we're talking about and our baby is perfect, right?! Well, sometimes it's best to remember some babies are born ugly too. Enjoy the article.


Love Is Blind - but Don't Turn a Blind Eye to Your Business
By Michael Masterson
Your business is growing at a good rate. Every year, you boost it forward by creating one or several new product lines or divisions. One of these becomes a favorite of yours. You like it so much, you want it to be massively successful.

There are little bits of evidence that your pet project is not as good as you want to believe, but you ignore them. When someone criticizes it, you feel defensive. If you get marketing or financial reports that look bad, you insist that they are flawed and ask to have them re-figured. If the reports come back looking good, you are happy.

In HL's case, there were warning signs that his new division wasn't working...

* There wasn't a clearly established market for its products.

* The small market that existed didn't seem to be growing.

* There wasn't a single strong frontrunner doing what he wanted to do.

Any one of these conditions should have called for a serious look at the numbers. But HL didn't want to look. He wanted to believe. For four years running, he accepted the superficial and seriously flawed reports of the division's manager - a guy whose vested interest was in making these reports look as good as possible.

The reports looked good, but there was no money in the bank. And every year, the new venture needed to borrow money. "How could I have been so foolish?" HL eventually had to ask himself.

There is only one way to make sure something like this never happens to you:
Devote some time each month (or year) to critically investigating the numbers. Don't accept glib answers or superficial explanations. If something doesn't make perfect sense to you, keep asking questions till you get a satisfactory answer.

A second thing you can do: Keep tabs on the cash. Know how much cash you have on a daily basis - and this applies even if your business is a large one.

Third, make sure you have an accurate idea of accounts payable and other balance-sheet items that might not appear on your profit statements.

And finally, keep plugged into the sales and marketing activity of the business. When this is profitable, everything else can be fixed. But when it starts to fall apart, your business is in danger - no matter what the reports say.

Short and sweet today, so I leave you with this:

If you're going to make a living putting odds in your favor, you damn well better know how to calculate them. - Amarillo Slim

New Finds, Old Money & Walking the Walk

Just put up the new widget for Jump Up - you thought I forgot didn't you! This is only one of a few places I make the time to visit at least once a week, even if I don't post anything. You'd be surprised at what other solos are doing - get over there and strut your stuff! Let me know when you set up your profile and I'll be sure to say 'Whatcha doing?!'

Going to be a busy week, so let's get to it:

What would you do with $10 million for your business? Build a factory, hire staff or change businesses all together?! Well you are going to love this. Industry Player is an online virtual business that is a bit more than a game. Don't worry if you are not a 'gamer', this is more like brainstorming on steroids and in living color!

This game lets you create and manage your own corporation in a virtual economy. This is reality check up-close with real competitors, market swings, cranky customers, accounting and all the other real business tasks it takes to make a business grow and survive. There is a download version (it is a big cracker at 9.1 MB) so if you're on dial-up (still?) then it's going to take some time. For a cool $20US, you may want to just play online. With $10 million in seed money - you can afford to dream a little!

Because I like sharing tools with you folks, here's a challenge for you: Create a thriving billion dollar virtual business. When you visit the site, you'll see how serious some of these virtual solo entrepreneurs have taken this.

Jaduka
Have you been looking at getting more customer feedback and building those relationships on your web site? This may be something to give a look. I uninstalled Skype to use this. Instead of people trying to connect with me at times that were inconvenient, Jaduka let's me set the times I'm available and the call for my client is free.

You know selling online is a hit-or-miss proposition at anytime, but when customers know they can talk to you or a real live person (instead of being sent to voice-mail-jail), this is what builds credibility for you and your business. Yes, it can work for those of you who have nothing more than a one-page site. The rates are very reasonable. For my money, it's a dream come true.

Last but definitely not least, Every Day Millionaires
Maybe you have a gazillion dollar 401k or you're sitting on hundreds of thousands of readily available cash for your business, then you can read the quote and have a nice day.

For the rest of us, concern over money seems to be the one thing we solo entrepreneurs share - how to get more and the best way to keep it safe. This blog comes as a result of the book, Armchair Millionaire and contains highly actionable, thoroughly researched financial products for people who want common sense solutions. Play with the $1 million calculator while you're there, it will take you from where you currently are to that dream of being a millionaire. Don't forget to sign up for the weekly email tips too!

That's it for today and I leave you with this

As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Solo Entrepreneur Month!

I've decided we need our own special month and July will be it! Taxes are finally done, weather is nicer and hey, we deserve it. So celebrate this month, your special month by doing something outrageously fun....water balloons and CPU's do not play well together - take it outside.

Found a couple things for you to take a look at to start the month off. What better way to get you started than scaring you to death, right?!

Let's do it
1. Spam Poison Spam is everybody's pain in the butt and on your blog or site email it's a nightmare. I stopped allowing comments because some bobble-head decided to put the sites he liked in my comment section. Here's a solution that may work. Since quite a few of the more intelligent spammers (if that's possible) use robots to tap your blog, this little piece of code activates and sucks them right away - kinda like a Hoover vacuum. You'll get to see my notice over the next few days and then you can comment to your little heart's content.

2. Moby Saurus
The name may sound like a kid's toy, but this thesaurus is no toy. If you send business emails or do any kind of writing, you probably know by now the thesaurus in Word is limited in helping you get just the right word you need. I found this solution that comes with a huge database of 2.5 million synonyms that works much better. It's an English thesaurus, really easy to use and you can look up words from within other word processing applications.

3. Go To Webinar
Working with multiple clients, trying to get a team to work together that live at a distance from each other can be a hassle at times. Conference calls can break your budget fast, Internet to the rescue. This works best for solo entrepreneurs who hold smaller meetings at least twice a month. Pricing is reasonable at $99 a month and since they happen online - toll charges are not an issue. Should your business require more than a few meetings a month, you can also opt for the annual subscription.

4. Jump Up
Wish I had this when I got started years ago, it might have changed the direction my business went in. Brought to you by the folks at Intuit (Quickbooks), this resource is one of those rare freebies worth using. For those who are just starting out in a solo venture or 'old hands' who miss brainstorming with other solo business owners, it can save you a lot of frustration. Joining is easy and there were real solo entrepreneurs in the community, none of the hype-me-up-the-wazzu you see so frequently in other online networking sites. To see the kinds of real solo entrepreneur's in the community, I'll be adding a live widget to the blog.

What have I been up to?
Completed a beginner currency trading site that goes live on Friday. The domain will be Currency Dependent (aren't we all?!) and be a great resource for novice forex traders, with course reviews and resources to help get them started.

Also joined Jump Up because I have some spots to fill for the coaching this year. It was one of those goals that I've been procrastinating (procrastinating=sitting on my butt doing jack) about. Coaching is bread-&-butter, without a client - somebody goes hungry!

Finally, I'm also doing PLR (private label rights) articles to sell from a small site. Articles are consumer topics, max 500 words and meant to be for those who use lots of content. Considered doing it as a membership site but that started looking like manual labor - ain't happening! I've decided to put up a one-pager in table format and sell 5 articles per pack for $7 a pack. Small affordable price for great content.

That's it for today and I leave you with this

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. - Robert F. Kennedy